There are many things in life that are absolute certainties, other than the usual ‘death and taxes’. Every human infant will cry. Everyone will see their own blood. Everyone will experience physical pain. We will all know heartache and grief, joy and embarrassment. And men will masturbate. There are no if’s, buts, or maybe’s about that fact. While a growing percentage of women are being a little less coy about admitting their own self pleasure, men have been pretty open about it for years. We all do it. We all talk about it. It’s part of ‘male’ culture, for a huge variety of reasons. And it can be a problem for women to accept. It doesn’t really matter if a man is married, divorced, widowed, single, engaged, homosexual, or any combination of those. It doesn’t matter if he is newly married, in love for the first time, in a long standing relationship, or if his girlfriend is a glamorous model. He will masturbate. A lot of women will be appalled to hear that fact, but they should do their best to accept it. Take a look at your partner ladies. Just because you might never have seen him doing it, don’t think for one second that he doesn’t. He does. We all do. Why we hear you women ask.
Why would a man want to masturbate, jack off, beat, or whatever the latest slang name is, when he has got me available? The answer is simple. Fantasy. When it comes to sex, men are lazy. If we could lay back and do nothing, believe me, we would. Sex is great but it can be hard work. Every single woman is different. Some women can have an orgasm in ten seconds. Some in twenty minutes. Many need far more specific attention and the right type of contact to achieve their own level of satisfaction. So if a man can enter into a fantasy world, where his sexual partner is everything he can dream of, has no demands on him, and gives him exactly the same result as sex, then he will do so. Women will understand all about fantasy. This may also be the reason that women masturbate. The difference between the sexes seems to be that men can become aroused almost instantly, especially using visual stimuli and imagination, like a porn movie, while women often require far more subtle aural, sensual, and actual stimulation.
So ladies, imagine this. You come home from work late, your man has metamorphosised into Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, the Milk Tray Man, or whoever your most recent favourite is. Not only that, he has also made your favourite dinner, washed the dishes, lit the right smelling candles, put them all in the right places, relaxing music soothes your ears in surround sound, he has ironed your blouse and skirt for tomorrow, has run your bath, and is standing ready to massage your aching limbs at the merest snap of your fingers. He then proceeds to seduce you with the right words, the right touch, the right actions, the right amount of kissing at the right times. His arms have the right amount of muscle, so does his six pack, his body feels right, he smells like you want him to, and when you make love, he does everything that you want, in just the right way, and without being told to. Mind blowing.
Pure fantasy. Now women have to accept that for men, it is very similar, except that men don’t need to ‘feel’ sexy. Porn is a quick stimulus for most men, but the fantasy itself is the biggest turn on. Many men find porn films as fake as the female stars breasts. The acting is at times quite pathetic, the scenarios are unreal, and the action is, for want of a better word, limp. Pornography just gives a man a helping hand to become aroused. Men imagine that his fantasy woman will do anything just for him. Things which maybe his real life partner would not consider. His real woman might not like oral sex, she might not make noise during the act, she might not like a certain position, she might only do it in the dark, and she may not have an orgasm through intercourse.
However, his fantasy woman craves oral sex, even licks her lips at the thought, she screams his name in ecstasy, and grunts with pleasure like the Williams sisters at Wimbledon, she is an expert in every position known to man, would willingly have sex in broad daylight in the middle of the nearest Olympic Stadium, and has a toe curling orgasm within seconds. Once again pure fantasy.
Because masturbation is a completely self controlled pastime, it shouldn’t and usually doesn’t have any bearing on a real relationship. It can even at times make sex more compelling. It should never be seen as a problem, unless a man seems to prefer to masturbate rather than have sexual intercourse with a real woman. But generally, women have to accept that when a man has hold of his own penis, he is opening the door to a completely false world, even though it is very erotic to him. The majority of men prefer the real thing, but still love to slip into that fantasy every so often.